UNKnowN x Creative Journeys -Jaskamal Kaur

Polina Nosova: You came into this exhibition with a new perspective and approach towards your work. Could you discuss this transformation a little bit?

_{JK: My approach is the same, but also different, because my art in itself, definitely changed. But I have been making art my whole life, and it always changed anyways. The big difference is in how my latest collection came to be, compared to how I'm usually used to making art.}

_{A lot of my bigger paintings, and the more expressive ones, mostly come from intense emotions. They would trigger this creative outburst, and I would make art. I never made art in a way that is like, I have a plan; I have this sketch and I’m gonna work it out. I’ve never had a strategic approach to art.}

_{But the latest works that I have hanging in the gallery came out of a stillness instead of high emotions. That was a very interesting evolution for myself as well, and it was something that I had to get used to. At the same time, this stillness made me happy because I don’t want to be dependent on intense emotions to create art, although it is super cathartic to make art that way. So, I wouldn’t say that I never want that anymore—I love it, but it’s great to find out that I can make these big pieces out of stillness too. Also, I never really use references, but previously I would use some inspirations for the beginning of the painting before going my own way. But with these new paintings, it was complete feeling.}

PN: And the feeling was that stillness you describe?

_{JK: Yeah, the stillness and I didn’t really look at references or anything. It just really came out of my own inner creative stillness. It’s very pure.}

PN: Would you say it's less draining on you emotionally?

_{JK: You could say so, but on the other side, I have to admit: that feeling, even though it can be intense, I love it. I love that intensity. It always feels like you’re lost in this different dimension. I’m completely zoomed into my own world. It’s so intense, I’m outside of this world. Even though it’s an intense emotion, my focus becomes intense as well. That’s a really great feeling, and eventually, when you’re done and you finished that painting, it feels like a cathartic way of processing.}

PN: Right now, you're doing more abstract work. Do you have anyone that you look up to as an artist or artist that you draw inspiration from, or is it still just the inner feeling?

_{JK: I follow a lot of artists on Instagram, but I’m not really good at remembering people’s names. I am noticing that there’s abstract work that didn’t really speak to me before, didn’t do anything for me, but now it does. I feel something. So, I’ve been following those types of artists, [who do] more abstract, colorful, and textured art as well. It looks like it’s nature in a painting. It really speaks to me. And yesterday, I went to a gallery for the first time here in Mexico, and the works were really abstract. I was looking at the paintings and I was like, damn, these paintings would not speak to me at all like two years ago, but now I can really feel something. The fact that it’s actually unclear about what it expresses is what attracts me to it. You have to have this connection with the painting, which you cannot force, makes it special to me.}

_{So, I can’t really think of names, but the [art] style that I look up to has definitely developed into more abstract. You really have to feel something with abstract art because it doesn’t directly show you what it is. So, you have to feel something. If you don’t feel something, it’s nothing to you.}

PN: What do you think made you change this your mind towards abstract art? Of course, it's not a conscious process, but what do you think happened to you? Or you as an artist?

_{JK: I think my personal healing and my way of dealing with emotions and intense periods of life. Over time, I think I just got better at processing intense emotions and going through difficult times in life. Obviously, I still struggle with certain things, everyone does, everyone goes through hardship. But I can notice that in myself that it’s [the emotions] still intense, but I find it easier to detach myself from it and not drown in it.}

_{I found that quite scary in the beginning because I felt like I was dependent on that to be able to make art. With time, it was clear that it doesn’t have to be like that. My art is always inspired by life and my experience of it, and if the way I experience life changes and evolves, my art evolves with me.}

_{And sometimes that’s scary, because you don’t know where things are going and where they are changing. You’re like, what’s happening? What if lose something? But sometimes losing certain things is only better for you.}

_{I had a burn out this year which I am slowly recovering from. Looking back, I can see why it had to happen.  I feel like I had to go through it to be able to let go of a lot of heavy shit I was holding into that was draining me, that I didn’t need to hold onto anymore.  Everything I need to do is completely for me. It's really me, myself and I now, and I can really live and create my life in a way I want to and because of that, I'm starting to feel grateful for the burnout now. I feel like it pushed me into a corner and forced me to let that go, and I can notice a big difference in myself now compared to before. Because if I didn't go through that, I wouldn't be I felt like it was a purge to let go of a lot of heavy things I was holding on to in my system that was draining my energy.}

_{I feel much lighter as a person, and I’ve become much more aware of everything that drains and that gives you energy. I didn’t realize how attached I was to all the heavy, intense and dark things. And when I started going through the burnout, it was very turbulent and scary. I was scared that it was fake, or whatever. You want to recognize yourself, and if you don’t recognize yourself anymore, it can be quite scary.}

_{I had that with my first painting from the collection [“Bhāva Samādhi”]. The work I was making as I was approaching the burnout was hinting that I was going through some intense emotions, and then suddenly, I made this bright pink painting. And even though I’ve been making art my whole life, and it has always been different, I never made an artwork like that before. It’s abstract, it’s pink, you know? I even had to turn it around because I found it hard to process since it was so different, and I found it weird that that painting came from me. After two days I could look at it again and I was like, what the fuck, did I make this? And I took my sweet time to embrace it, because I know change is a part of life, and it shows healing. This doesn’t mean that from now on, I’m only going to make abstract, bright color paintings. Of course, I’m a human being and all emotions are just as valid. But I think the most important thing what I’m trying to say here is that I wasn’t able to make art like this before.}

PN: It’s like a switch. The art you made before was clearer in what it depicted, there were clear figures and recognizable objects, but your feelings weren’t as clear. And now your work is more abstract, but your feelings have a clarity to them.

_{JK: My art has always been about the human psyche, you know. Going through this life as a human being, this human experience, and everything that you struggle with. And now my art has become much broader, not just focusing on the individual. Even though people could always relate to my art because I would depict something people found difficult to express, I feel like now my art has become much more universal. It’s more about the universe and the connection of it all.}

_{It goes beyond the human experience. I feel like now, my inspiration is more drawn from the universe, or whatever you want to call it, that which connects us all.}

PN: A more spiritual side of it?

_{JK: Yes, definitely very spiritual. I’m definitely a very spiritual person, always have been, but it has evolved. My spirituality at first was more religious because I come from a Sikh family, and Sikh is a spiritual religion. I can’t say I’m very religious now, but that is my foundation. But because I’ve also been really invested in the human psyche, spirituality and psychology just came together and became this uniform thing. If you ask me now, I would say they’re the same thing, just different perspectives. And I feel like this whole journey I’ve been going through is my spiritual journey, and I’ve called art my spiritual path because it has always been my teacher. It really shows me what’s going on inside of me before I realize. I’ve had paintings that I had to understand afterwards, and I feel like my subconscious, or I like to say my soul is talking to me through my art, showing me what’s going on.}

_{I have this one painting [“The Portal”] that I painted before the bombs went off in my life. It took me so long to understand this painting. I did not understand what it meant, where its coming from, but it came from deep inside because I painted it, right? After this painting, my depression just became worse. But from this also came my evolution. And in this painting, you can see a skinless body, and I felt like I’ve really changed my skin. Everything that I was carrying and I wanted to get out of it, like get me out of this skin. After the burnout, I got a spontaneous thought that I have to get used to my new skin. And then it clicked. This painting was telling me already that you are going to be pulled out of your skin, and it’s gonna be a painful process, but you will get this new skin and you will get used to it, and that’s how you will go forward in life.}

_{So, in that way, art is my spiritual teacher. But also, it teaches me patience, because you have to be very patient with your painting and just have faith. Almost always, I don’t know where the painting is going, but I just have to be connected with my intuition and with that flow, and be in my heart and not my head. Every time I get in my head, I ruin my flow and make mistakes. It’s like meditation: staying in my body and connected to that feeling. I feel like I am a vessel for that creative energy; it’s my job to be that vessel and stay connected to that feeling, so whatever art needs to come out can come through me.}

PN: What do you as an artist, hope that people get from your art? What kind of experience do you hope for them?

_{JK: I hope that people connect with my art from a deeper place, that they feel something with it. There are people who look at the art and they ask me what it is. “How do I understand this?”, but it’s like no, no, no.  You're in your head. Get out of your head, and whatever you feel- that's what it is. It's whatever you feel. It's okay to feel that. And if you feel nothing, that’s okay. We live in this society where people try to be perfect, and just this one thing all the time, this one mold. But art is this place where there is no rules and no limits, and whatever is- is! I hope my art can show people that whatever you experience, however you experience life, whatever you feel as a human, as an individual, whatever feelings you go through, whether it's vague or very clear or chaotic or still-- whatever it is, it's all okay. It simply an experience. Just like the whole of life is a human experience. It's one big experience made of different experiences, small experiences, good or bad. It is what it is. Whatever you feel is all valid. This one person said that my art makes them feel like all emotions are okay to be there. It doesn't mean you have to feel this one thing and push another feeling away, because that's a bad part of you. No. You're this whole person full of all types of different things, and they can be paradoxical to each other. That doesn't matter. It's all you, it's all okay. It's your yin and yang. You're all, you're everything you know, not just this one small part that you can show and the rest you have to push away to be accepted. It’s all good, it’s all welcome.}  

_{I hope it gets people to think, and triggers them to think about deeper things, you know? And become more reflective of their own experiences in life, yeah?}

PN: What other mediums would you like to work with in the future?

_{JK: I really want to learn more about textured art, and I've been trying to learn more about that.  You really need to have knowledge about how to create certain textures and what ingredients you need for that. And I want to build up more of that type of knowledge so that when I want to make more 3D art and make the art come more alive, I know what type of ingredients I would need. The gallery I was at yesterday, the artist used a lot of different mediums. You can see like textiles in his art, and sort of foam, and then it was scraped and built up and I really love that. I want to learn more about that, so that when I get into that focus, I don't have to figure out how to create certain materials, because it's this new area for me. I've already experimented with plaster, and it’s almost like you're sculpting your painting.}

_{My dream is to have this big art studio space where I can sculpt my paintings, make them come more alive and have more of those movements in the paintings and flow. I want to work on different panels as well. I work mostly on canvas now, and I would love to work on wood panels as well. You know, find out different materials that can work on top of instead just using them to make it. I would love to learn to make my own canvases so I can shape them in any way I like. I want to basically become Bob the Builder. So, I would love to really learn more about different mediums and what shapes they can create.}

PN: I think that’s also interesting with the environmental aspect of it, like recycling of materials and stuff.

_{JK: Yeah, definitely, because I'm noticing lately, I've used to always just use paint brushes. But lately I've been grabbing more different objects to paint with as well. I've used mirror pieces. in my art. It would just happen during the process. I have this one painting that's about breaking through different dimensions. You know, when you go through the spiritual evolution, it feels like you've entered this new dimension in your own life. In the painting, there is this character that's falling and you can see, things breaking out, and I grabbed this mirror, I had this little make-up mirror, and I just broke it with whatever I could find. Broke it into pieces and stuck it in there so it looks like this dimension broke, basically. And I would love to do that again to work with mirror pieces shattered glass.}

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